Oftentimes people want things that feel so out of reach to them that it doesn’t seem worthwhile to try.
They want to do something—be someone—but there’s never the energy to get up and do it—be it.
It’s a normal condition for any human to face, and it usually happens like this:
We decide we want something.
We realize what we need to do to get it.
We tell ourselves we’re going to do it.
Then, when the time comes, we find a reason to put it off.
We tell our self something like, “tomorrow”.
Then, tomorrow turns into today, and more often than not, it’s the same thing over again.
This happens again and again until we feel the sensation of shame set in.
At that point, we categorize it as something like “not that important” or “not for me” or “I don’t think that’s what I really want”.
Although, deep down, we know that’s a lie.
We know because any time it’s brought up, we either become defensive or withdraw because of that shame.
Self-esteem is shot, and ego comes in to cover the insecurity.
This can be a socially destructive place to be in because from here, anyone who’s actually maintaining integrity with themselves is liable to become the enemy.
They remind us of our shortcomings, of how we’re failing ourselves, of all the promises we’ve broken with ourselves.
In essence, they remind us of who we are: a person who failed to walk their path.
Sooner or later, this person fills their void with resentment—the birth of a “Hater”.
A Hater is a fan. A Big fan. Actually, a HUGE fan.
A hater sees what another does, and wants to be just like that person. But, something inside the hater tells them they’re not good enough. So, they begin to “hate” that something inside.
That’s when the ego goes into protection mode. Since it can’t accept being on the “bottom”, it begins to leverage the faculties of reasoning and imagination to save face.
It begins to project that hatred outward, onto said person who’s doing what they want to do: maintaining integrity.
Of course, this is all stuff that happens behind the scenes. We make up stories to rationalize the behavior.
We have to have a reason, right?
Really, there are just two choices we have when we come across someone displaying behaviors we admire: we can either become inspired or we can turn into a hater.
The energy’s transferred no matter what. It’s up to us to transmute it into something beneficial or destructive.
And since we have control over our own inner world of mind and emotion, we choose if other people, things, events, and conditions to affect us.
But to take back this control it’s mandatory to accept ourselves COMPLETELY, with flaws, shortcomings, and certain lapses of judgment.
This is the key to free up energy for change.
Energy that’s otherwise being used to hold ourselves back. Energy that otherwise can be used to do that thing we wanted to do.
Nobody want’s to feel regret.
We all want to reach our goals. And, we all want to feel good about ourselves in the process.
No one needs to be “above” or “below” another, because we all have our own path.
If we think about it—with a degree of honesty—the only thing that’s really holding us back is ourselves.
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
— Carl Jung