The Blessing of the Enemy

Do you consider some people in your life to be enemies?

Maybe these are people that get in the way of what you want?

Like, if they weren’t in your life, things would be much better—you’d be much better?

Or, at least, you’d have some peace of mind?

These are probably people who probably trigger you in ways no one else does. They irritate you in ways you can use many creative words to describe.

You’re probably disgusted by their behavior. They have no morals, no integrity. Justice needs to be served.

Every time you see them, you get this uncomfortable sensation—maybe even feel some anger. Deep down inside, you feel hatred for them. Like, they don’t belong in this world—at least, not in your presence.

Well, if that’s the case, you’re probably not going to like hearing what I’m about to say.

At first, you probably won’t agree with it.

May think I’m out of my mind for even suggesting it.

But, if you take it into consideration, and actually reflect on it, you’ll probably realize that there’s some truth to it.

What I want to say is that these people that piss us off so much are our life’s greatest gifts, and we should treasure them accordingly.

Really.

We should be utterly grateful for their presence in our life because if we allow it, these relationships can reveal some deep insights into unconscious parts of ourselves.

These are the parts of us that make us get in our own way.

The truth is, if aspects of another’s character cause unfavorable reactions out of us, they’re aspects that exist within us as well—to some degree. They are emotional triggers pointing to parts of ourselves that are wounded.

In other words, that which is perceived as a moral deficiency in another is actually a personal inferiority in ourselves—we’ve just pushed it away from our attention.

Our mental self-defense system—the ego—can’t have us thinking a part of us is “bad”, so it does its thing and hides these parts of ourselves from our self.

It’s the dark side of our personality—the shadow.

When we haven’t fully accepted ourselves for who we are, we tend to judge and criticize those very same aspects of ourselves that we’ve shunned away in other people.

This is one of the many marvels of the unconscious—to externalize into the outer world that which is within ourselves.

No matter how much we avoid an issue, we can never escape it. Anyone who’s experienced the same set of relational problems manifested in different people has witnessed this first hand.

Until we dive head-first and deal with our shortcomings, they will direct our lives in ways unimaginable, and we’ll call it “fate”.

It may very well be the most difficult thing we do, but it’s also the most empowering thing we can do.

When we find ourselves triggered, the best thing to do is to take a step back and really self-reflect.

How do I behave like this in my own life?

Where have I behaved like this before?

What is this person showing me that I’m not seeing?

Within each individual, there exists a veil of illusion between ego and reality.

By making the unconscious parts of ourselves conscious—by bringing our darkness to light—we become more whole, more complete.

It’s said that one of the most terrifying things in life is to accept one’s self completely, with flaws, inferiorities, and all.

At the end of the day, we’re all perfectly imperfect human beings though.

The only thing that stops us from seeing it that way is our own idea of ourselves—our ego.

“How can I be substantial if I do not cast a shadow? I must have a dark side also If I am to be whole.”
— Carl Jung

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